Agatha-Jane and the Kitchen Incident

I hadn't meant to set the kitchen on fire, but when I tried telling Hester she kept looking up at the ceiling mumbling a prayer... or maybe a curse from the look of her wrinkled eyes. First, the fire never would have started had there not been oil splotches on the stove. Second, had Hester not started frying up some eggs this would never have happened, okay maybe I shouldn't have looked away from the stove to play with Ammelthorpe (my brother's new turtle), but Hester should know better than to leave me with...

"Agatha-Jane are you even listening to me?!" Hesters' nostrils flaired and her shaking made what was left of the egg fry up fall from her hair and into her coffee mug.

" now first Mrs. Flemming's wig went 'mysteriously' missing, and now  fires are being set! Do you want to go to boarding school" Hester took a sip of coffee, from the less egg-stained portion

"I was paying attention, but then Ammelthorpe looked soo bored, and I was bored watching the eggs, and then I thought of all the things I would love to do so as not to be bored and then"

"and then you left the hot stove and played with a turtle while the house caught on fire-"

"it was just the kitchen, and mom was already planning on remodling it." Before I could continue Hester threw her head back and laughed-well cackled I'd say. I knew I was done for because Hester, sweet but stern Hester never laughs and usually ends our arguments by having me pick my own switch and settling the wrongs.

"this child 'remodled' the kitchen, just set it on fire".. "Lord, Father there isn't a switch strong enough for this one."

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When mom got home all I could hear from my hiding spot in the attic were mumbles, a "Lord" here and  a "Agatha-Jane" there. By the time my knees were sore, and my hands numb I heard heels on wood floor.

"Agatha-Jane Elizabeth Parker Kinsley you have five seconds to show yourself and if you don't not even the Lord can save you from this punishment"

My mom had a strong jaw, as my grandmother used to say though I'm sure she meant it in a beauty sort of way and not in a  jaw so strong it made her usual delicate features resemble a bird of prey ready to strike.

"we have given you chance after chance Aggie, and to be honest I'm not sure what to do with you-- and put your hand down! not a word from you either!" mom turned to my brother, now sulking with Ammelthorpe on his lap

"your father and I have done all we can to raise you into kind, and conscientious members of society." Mom paces " where does it end Aggie? After you've stolen every one of Mrs. Flemming's wigs? Set every kitchen on fire, or maybe you will start burning houses down, on top of skipping Sunday school and beating up boys..." Mom leans against the nearest wall and runs her fingers through her mass of curls. After some moments of silence mom raises her head, curls larger and shrouding her face.

"it will have to be boarding school if you can't shape up Aggie"

"mom......" Seamus squeaks " I think Ammelthorpe has burned eggs stuck in his shell"